is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
