I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
