She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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