Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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