why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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