just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
