Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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