drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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