FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
