You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Tornado booty call.. dedication
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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