lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
