she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
