i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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