okay pat passed out under dana's car
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize