after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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