at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
