she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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