birth control should be required to get into college
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
