She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
