i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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