If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
