Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
