The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
