sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
