I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
