id be glad to
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
