Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
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Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just found a bag of teeth...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize