The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm really busy with my period
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