don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
we're making bets on your personal life
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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