Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
