We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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