Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
