Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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