420 ftw
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize