I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
