sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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