Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
