Where did you get a picture of my penis
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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