I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
