it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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