I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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