She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
