and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
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she said she was living bicuriously through me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
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I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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