It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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