...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize