just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
