Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
