i think i have herpe
just one?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Four minutes until I can fart!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
