Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
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why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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