She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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