I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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