Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
