He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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