After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
