genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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