drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
