Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
