I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
There's even glitter on my cock...
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