Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
