At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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