The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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