So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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