Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
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worst night to have a conscience
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
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No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize