I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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